Many people have a hard time with commitment and if you are in a place where your love life is up and down, you might have a hard time thinking of a future with someone.
When you have challenges, the hope of being in a good relationship can seem slim and chances are that you will spend many times arguing with your partner and not even realizing something is wrong. If you reflect on what is going on in your life though, you might be able to tell that you have a pattern based on your behavior and your own attitude.
If you are with someone that makes you shout or makes you get angry, you might realize that you can learn to enjoy each other, and stop being stressed in the relationship. You must learn to be mindful and you must learn to be honest with yourself and your partner.
One thing that is challenging is when things get hot between you and your partner, it is hard for someone to change the situation and to make it calmer.
It can be a bad habit to turn something into a negative situation and things that aren’t meant to be fought about will often become a fight such as being tired or if you tell your partner that they look healthy. Both of these things can end up in a fight without it meaning to.
You need to share your thoughts with your partner and have the courage to tell them your feelings. You need to figure out what is causing you and your partner to have negative thoughts.
Your interpretations of how you take your partner can come from a bad place inside of you such as a lack of trust or having no self-esteem. This means that you will need someone in your life that will reassure you and will help you through your hard times.
Your history in your relationships can cause you to have hard relationships. If you have had bad times with your parents or with your friends, chances are you will feel that you are unworthy of love and this can make you feel upset or frustrated. You might feel like you need to be approved by people, and truth is, you don’t.
Your partner needs to support you when you have these emotions and so you need to learn to lean on them and be closer with them.
Look inside yourself and see where the roots of your problems lie. Find out what your intentions are and how you interpret things in your life.
Things will often lead to an argument that aren’t even meant for that and when people have different points of view, it can cause there to be dissention.
Here are some things that you can use to stop a bad situation from getting worse:
When you are upset or nervous about something, these emotions can cause you to argue with your partner. One mistake that people make is by disagreeing with an opinion that they are given.
Someone might say, “I get nervous when you drive,” and instead of saying, “I’ll slow down,” you might say, “I don’t drive bad.”
Allow your partner to express their emotions without arguing with them. Not allowing them to have a reality can cause you to take away their power and cause them to be afraid to tell you what they are feeling because you don’t validate them.
Learn to respond with an apology if necessary or ask your partner what you can do to change what they are feeling.
When you listen and respond with love, you will bring trust in the relationship and you will be able to work together to find compromises.
Denying your partner, the chance to have their feelings expressed will cause them to be defensive and will create a relationship based on fighting instead of love.
Facts and Opinions
When you express your opinions as if they are facts, this is a fast way to cause a fight. Everyone has different perspectives on things and when you make your statement out like it is a fact then you are saying your partner is wrong. This can cause the relationship to feel threatened or week.
Your partner might feel that you are being selfish or that you work too much, and this can cause you to feel that you are being judged or mistreated.
Instead of denying this and being angry, learn to recognize this as a feeling and respond to them in a loving manner. Explain to them that you are not rejecting them and that they are not wrong.
Blaming for Feelings
If you blame your partner when your feelings are hurt or you are angry, you are not considering what your partner is feeling. This kind of blaming can cause there to be a lot of pain in the relationship.
Being aware of these things can help you to take responsibility for the negative things that come into the relationship and allow you to help fix things. If things need fixed, it is possible to fix it by being trusting and more intimate with your partner.
When you are blaming your partner for your feelings, you are saying that they are responsible for your emotions and you are not taking responsibility for how you express yourself.
Reflecting on yourself and your honesty is important and if you want to avoid a fight, you have to learn to express yourself in a non-hurtful way.
Be clear about what you are trying to say to your partner and learn to share your feelings and listen to them without misunderstanding what is going on. Doing this can help save your relationship and can save energy to make the relationship good and happy.