Happiness can be created by us or we can choose not to. It is totally synthetic. The happiness that truly lasts is created through our daily habits and maintained by those same habits. This means if we are unhappy, we need to adopt new habits. This can be tough to do, but it is worth the effort to break bad habits that are leaving you unhappy. There are many bad habits that can lead to unhappiness and when these are eradicated, happiness will follow. Some of these bad habits are explained below.
Those people who are constantly negative and tend to complain all the time are unhealthy to be around. They spend time wallowing in problems without ever considering a solution. This type of person will want others to join them in their misery and will pressure others to listen to their constant complaints. While lending an ear once in awhile is being a good friend, getting sucked into a negativity spiral is not good. This can be combatted by setting clear boundaries and when it gets to be enough, walk away. You an also ask how they plan to remedy whatever situation they happen to be in so the conversation changes or the negative person moves on because you do not feel sorry for them.
Social media is a huge part of our lives these days, but it can be a very unhealthy part. When we spend all day looking at social media it is easy to start comparing ourselves to others. People put their best foot forward on social media, not reality. Step away from it and take some time to simply enjoy life instead of focusing on trying to get the most attention on a photo. Use it sparingly, if it must be used.
Be in Awe
There are amazing things going on each and every day. While technology has made the world a smaller place, there is now less that evokes true awe in our daily lives. This is sad because being in awe is humbling and builds a richness of life. We need to find the awe-inspiring moments of life and truly appreciate them. This means getting away from a virtual life and creating a real one.
When we are unhappy, we tend to withdrawal from others. Unfortunately, this is the last thing we should do because it can make your mood worse. While the occasional day spent hiding under the covers is normal, when it becomes habit, it can become a problem. If your unhappiness has made you antisocial, push through and get out to spend time with others.
We all want control in life, including being happy. Blaming others for what goes wrong in life can bring us down because we feel the control we desperately want is no longer there.
Feeling like you have no control is rough, but so is having too much control. When we try to control every little aspect of life then we will be unhappy because things will never be exactly as expected. We cannot control the behaviors of others long term and trying will be harmful to our happiness.
When we have an attitude of complaining it leaves us unhappy. Complaining is actually self-reinforcing because we are affirming our own negativity. While it is okay to talk about things that bother you, if you are not working toward letting it go or changing it, then it leaves us unhappy. Constant complaints also push others away and leave us lonely.
Trying to Impress
Even when people like your clothes, shoes, car, and job, they can refuse to like you as a person. When we spend our time trying to impress others, we end up unhappy. Find the people who like you for your personality, not your stuff and happiness will follow. Things come and go, trends fade, but who you are deep down is what will help you find happiness.
Life is unpredictable and can change in a heartbeat. We each have 24 hours in a day to do with what we choose. Those who are the happiest in life make the most of their time. Instead of wasting our time complaining, we need to focus on those things that are good in life and deal with the problems as they come. Pessimism is the enemy we try to avoid because it damages mood and then keeps us stuck in unhappiness. Face things head on with a realistic view and then let life continue.
Those who do not set goals are unhappy because there is a lack of direction. Having goals gives hope in a future we are working toward. Set specific goals that offer a challenge, but are measurable at each step. This is how we bring positive change.
Fear is manufactured, danger is real. Fear is an emotion and we can choose our emotions. When fear rears up, flip it and use the adrenaline rush to feel great about making it through something terrifying. When life comes to an end it is the experiences you did not take that will be regrets. So, face some fears and take the risk to build happiness. Death is not worse than being dead inside, but still wandering through life.
Leaving the Present
We cannot go back, we cannot predict what is ahead, so we have just this moment. Anxiety about the future is pointless because we cannot predict it and the past is just that, in the past. Happy people focus on the here and now because it is what we have in the moment. While this does not mean we should not plan ahead or set goals, we cannot be happy living anywhere but right now. This requires us to accept our past and grow from it, learning the lessons it teaches and accept the uncertainty the future has for each of us. There is no place for worry in a happy person’s life.
We have no control over our genetics or circumstances, but there are things we can do with our habits to help us find happiness. We make the choices and the changes.