There’s a small, three-letter word for something that can be so evil and powerful that if you don’t deal with it appropriately, it can create serious issues in a relationship. It can even destroy a relationship.
That word is “ego.”
Everyone has an ego. And everyone has experienced several occasions in their life when they let their ego control them. Our ego is a sensitive part of our psyche. It’s also a negative quality.
Is Ego Killing Your Relationship?
In any relationship, things must be in balance. There are multiple components in relationships that keep them healthy. But ego is the type of thing that can ruin a relationship. These things are true even of romantic relationships.
Is ego more valuable to you than your romantic relationship? If the partners of a couple truly love each other, there should be no space to let negative feelings erupt.
The ego is a component of our beings that needs to be loved and accepted. In all the different contexts we face, the ego struggles to cope with the realities of life. It can be said that ego is the evil thing that loves to control us.
If you let your ego dominate you, it will erect an increasingly insurmountable barrier between you and your partner. Even if your love is genuine, your ego will prevent you from approaching your spouse, and it will make you feel powerless. It will force you to do things that you don’t like doing. You’ll end up hurting yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
Here’s one example in which our ego frequently shows its evil side. It’s common in modern relationships and marriages for the woman to have higher earnings than the man. Although the husband loves his wife dearly, his ego kicks in and makes him feel dominated by his wife. The wife may contribute more towards the household expenses, and may be doing everything that she can to make the marriage a happy one, but his ego can’t get past the fact that his wife earns more than he does. With passing days, weeks, and months, his ego drills evil thoughts into his mind and turned the good marriage into a bitter one.
It really doesn’t matter which partner earns more. The only things that matter are love and the mutual respect that a man and a woman should share in a healthy relationship or marriage.
If you think your ego is getting in your way, then immediately shake it off. Be positive towards each other. Honestly share your feelings with your partner. Stop thinking things like, “What will she think if I say this?”
It’s common for partners in a relationship to have an argument and end up hurting each other’s feelings and bruising each other’s ego. You may not talk for a few days, but the silence between the two of you is even more hurtful. You can’t let ego let ruin your happiness.
There are some specific things you can work on to set your ego aside and to limit its power.
- Prioritize your relationship.
Incidents will certainly occur in which you don’t agree with each other. But always hold your relationship as your highest priority. Try to maintain mutual respect, and don’t let ego control you.
- Accept each other.
In romantic relationships and marriages, each partner should be equal and should have equal importance. An ideal way to handle ego and to prevent it from coming between partners in a relationship is for the partners to accept each other just as they are. Each person has both positive and negative qualities. In your relationship or marriage, respect each other and embrace your differences at every opportunity. And always remember that you and your partner are equals.
- Understand that it’s okay to be wrong.
Get over the feeling that you have to be better than or superior to your spouse. It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes and to be wrong. Don’t allow your ego to take control of your mind with thoughts like, “I’m never wrong” or “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Have enough courage to accept your faults. You will make mistakes. There’s no shame in that, because you will learn from them.
- Keep the lines of communication open.
Communication is crucial to happy relationships. Communicate as openly and honestly as possible. Strive to accept each other’s differences of opinion. Listen to what your partner is conveying to you, and have open discussions about things so you can work together to find a solution.
Every couple deserves to be happy. If you think it’s impossible to forgive and forget after your ego has been hurt, you’re terribly wrong. You have to learn how to prioritize your relationship or marriage over your ego.
Stay positive about even the minor things in your daily life. Let go of your ego so you can see where your relationship or marriage truly stands. This will leave you in good standing with your partner, and ensure your relationship is a healthy one.