Most people have intimate relationships with their smartphones. They carry their phones everywhere. They panic when they forget them. They may as well be glued to their devices. Most people justify this by explaining that smartphones have made their lives easier.
But is that really true?
I don’t think it is. Our phones have become an integral part of our lives. We place more importance on our smartphones than we place on our precious marriages. A small, inanimate gadget like a smartphone can create chaos and ruin special moments. They really are that powerful.
It’s a common occurance. It’s probably happened to you. It’s happened to me, too. You went on a date with your spouse. You chose a nice restaurant. You sat at a romantic table for two, ordered your meal, and began to chat. All was well, but then your spouse’s phone rang.
“Sorry, hon, I gotta take this call. It’s work. Gimme five minutes.”
Like every other time, you nodded and waited for the call to end. In the meantime, you pulled out your own phone and started scrolling social media.
What happened to the romantic and sweet conversation you had planned? Is this a happy and healthy moment you’d like to remember? Did easy access to communication add romance to your date?
When a couple constantly finds their more interesting than actually spending time together, they’re pulling away from each other and creating a gap in their communication.
Healthy communication is key to a healthy marriage. The more the partners communicate with each other, the stronger their bond will be. And though smartphones can serve to connect us to other people, they can also disconnect husbands and wives from each other.
You may think that the occasional use of smartphones is no big deal. Honestly, it’s not. But most of us use them far more frequently than “occasionally.” Being too attached to your phone can easily have negative effects on your marriage, including:
- Setting up a constant conflict between the marriage and the device.
- Widening communication gaps.
- Reducing intimacy and satisfaction in couples.
- Forcing a loss of responsiveness to each other.
- Acting as a distraction, which is especially dangerous when driving.
- Increasing the insecurities within the marriage.
These negatives affect the fundamentals of your marriage and, if not controlled, could completely destroy it.
Care and love are necessary in healthy marriages. To feel more connected to each other, set your phone aside and focus instead on spending quality time together. This will nurture your marriage and bring about a positive attitude that will strengthen it for the long term.
It’s easy to understand that smartphones can have negative effects on a marriage. What’s not so easy to understand is how to stop the phone from interfereing in the marriage. Start with small steps, like these:
- If your job requires interaction by phone, help your spouse to understand your professional responsibilities.
- Whenever and wherever you have time to spend together, establish phone-free zones, especially on weekends.
- Turn off the notifications on your phones so you don’t receive constant interruptions that spoil your time together.
- Rein in social media use. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter now occupy a significant position in people’s lives. Many people can’t even go one day without posting on or scrolling through the feeds. Social media isn’t necessarily harmful, but you should keep tabs on how often you use it. Try to limit the time you spend using it. And definitely don’t use it when you’re out on a date your spouse.
Our psychological dependency on our smartphones is what needs to change. Remember that as you use your phone. Overusing it can and will cause problems in your marriage.